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Not All Marriages Are the Same — And the Vedas Knew ItMarriages are always a big deal and are definitely an important event in a person’s life. Deciding to share every day of your life with another person is not a simple task. Some say marriage is made in heaven, but we all know better to understand that it’s not the case for everyone. While some people marry for the unconditional love they have for their partner, it might be about financial stability, prestige, good name or downright pressure from their family for some. So, each marriage is different. What if I told you that our ancestors had already figured it out, almost 2000 years ago?
Why Eight Types?
Even if the ceremonies are different, the idea of marriage is quite simple. It’s the union of two different people who have come together in love and decide to live together for the rest of their lives. So you might wonder why there are eight different types of marriage for such a simple idea. This is because this classification has a lot to do with the life and ways of people in ancient India. As we know, the Indian society is quite diverse, and the scene was no different back then either. Based on human behaviour, spiritual factors and psychological aspects, the sages realised all the unions that took place were not equal and that they were distinct in their ways. While some of the unions were deeply rooted in qualities like dharma and wisdom, others were from desire, compulsion or even sometimes manipulation. These eight types of marriage can be seen as observations of reality. But while some were considered ideal, some were tolerated, and some were even discouraged. Yet they were all acknowledged. What Will My Married Life Be Like?The Eight Types of Marriage
Brahma Vivaha
Among the eight types of marriage, this is the gold standard. In Brahma Vivaha, the bride is given in marriage to a man who is well educated, wise and has a good character. One of the biggest highlights of this type of marriage is that there is no dowry involved in it. The marriage is purely based on qualities like compatibility and the blessings of the whole family. The marriage of Lord Rama and Sita is often cited as an example of Brahma Vivaha. King Janaka, father of Sita, chose Rama for his daughter after he broke the Shiva Dhanush(divine bow) in a test of strength. Rama is the epitome of noble character, and the marriage took place with the full blessing of both families.Daiva Vivaha
Like the name suggests, this is a marriage that takes place as a part of a religious ceremony or ritual. In this type of marriage, the woman is wed to a priest during or after a religious ceremony. It can almost be seen as an offering to the divine. It should also be understood that here, the focus is more on the spiritual and ceremonial aspects rather than personal choice.Arsha Vivaha
In this type of wedding, the groom is required to pay a price for the bride, and in most cases, the groom pays the price willingly. It is said that there are texts that describe this type of marriage where a cow with a calf and a pair of bulls is mentioned as a price that grooms used to pay the bride’s family. The weddings of Dasharatha and Kaikeyi and Pandu and Madri are often shown as a perfect example of this kind of marriage.Prajapatya Vivaha
This type of marriage is deeply rooted in shared values and responsibilities. The father of the bride blesses the couple to lead a life completely based on dharma together. Rather than giving importance to love, this type of marriage stresses more on building a stable and meaningful life.Gandharva Vivaha
This is one category that you might have heard somewhere, mentioned even in his era. This kind of marriage is all about happiness and nothing else. It happens when two people fall in love and decide to get married on their own, without any rituals or the involvement of their families. It is often spontaneous and highly dependent on emotions. The marriage of the popular couple Shakunthla and Dushaynata is said to have been a gandharva vivaha.Asura Vivaha
This is one of the most criticised forms of marriage as the groom pays a huge price or expensive gifts to the bride’s parents in exchange for marrying her. Rather than being seen as a union of two hearts, it is more of a deal or transaction. Qualities like love, consent or compatibility are often considered secondary in this type of marriage.Rakshasa Vivaha
This is when the bride is abducted against her will or married forcefully. The term consent doesn’t exist here, and it was often done during times of conflict or war in older days. While it is given a heroic image in some places, it was never to be seen as an ideal one, at any time. It goes without saying that this is a completely unacceptable form of marriage in the present day.Paishacha Vivaha
This is the most disgraceful kind of marriage, where a man marries a girl after exploiting her in sleep, while being intoxicated or mentally unstable. The ancient texts condemned this kind of marriage without doubt. This was not even considered a valid form of marriage, and obviously, it is wrong on all levels. Whom Will I Marry? Astrology Insights Based on Your Birth ChartSo, which one is the best?
After getting to know all these different kinds of marriages, it’s only natural to wonder about the ideal choice or the best one. According to the Vedic texts, the first four types are seen as ideal ones – the Dharmic ones. And the latter four are seen as Adharmic ones, some being completely unacceptable. However, here is what you should keep in mind. Rather than trying to label your marriage or relationship under a particular type, take a step back and ask yourself what truly brought you together. Try to understand the ‘Why’ behind your marriage. “Why am I getting married?” Is it out of love?Is it out of mutual respect?
Is it something about your social status or convenience?
Or
Is it just pressure? Try to answer his question without lying to yourself; you will know the direction that you are heading in, and that’s what truly matters. What Age Will I Get Married?
How Does Astrology Look at This?
So, if you are wondering whether your birth chart says something about the marriage types, it actually does! Multiple astrological factors like your 7th House, your Venus and Mars placement, and Navamsa chart can reveal the route that you take for your marriage – whether it will be a love marriage, a spiritual union or whether or not you have to work more on your emotional compatibility. But there is nothing to panic about. Astrology is there to help you understand the patterns and help you overcome any issue if you ever feel so. It is not meant to trap or confuse you – readings bring more clarity on things, not anxiety.Ancient Classifications — Still True Today? That’s a good question. After all, these classifications are from ancient times. But hold on, before deciding, think for yourself, and you will see that the different kinds of marriage are still prevalent in our society, making them relevant even today. Still hard to believe?
For family approval
For financial benefits
For Spiritual alignments
And unfortunately, out of pressure too. In a way, getting to know the details of Ashta Vivaha is like holding a mirror to society and self.
Finally, What’s My Story?
Almost everyone experiences love in their life, but it’s only a very few who actually succeed at it and keep it lasting. You should know that what truly matters is what happens after you say ‘I Do’ or repeat the sacred vows, because no matter how you stated, what truly is going to matter is how you live the rest of the days together. The key to doing that is communication, patience, commitment, laughter and, of course, love. So, next time when you hear someone say “it’s complicated,” just smile and think “oh, it must be a Gandharva-Arsha-Prajapatya mix!”
